Honest Things
by SweetcheeksNinja
Summary: Ziva sat in her apartment that evening thinking about their earlier conversation. Friendship. They were friends right? There were times she wanted to strangle him and there were times she wanted to kiss him hard on the mouth. Then there were times she wished she could hold on and never let go...
1. Chapter 1

Ziva sat in her apartment that evening thinking about their earlier conversation. Friendship. They were friends right? There were times she wanted to strangle him and there were times she wanted to kiss him hard on the mouth. Then there were times she wished she could hold on and never let go. She obviously did not feel about McGee the way she felt about Tony, but it had to be because...because... Oh! Who was she kidding? Certainly not herself! The moment she found out about Jeanne she knew she loved him. He had been more than any other man had been to her. He had been more constant and permanent than all the men in her life put together. He'd saved her in Somalia only making her feel twice as guilty. Now her, Tony, and McGee were out of a job. Why did she have to kill Bodnar? Why did she have to kill Ari? Why was her life so screwed up, and why the hell did he have to care so much!

She grabbed her car keys and her brown leather jacket and took off for his apartment. The entire time only thinking about how he had awkwardly kissed her forehead trying to pretend they felt nothing more.

She knocked frantically at his door. He opened it wearing a tight fitting dark blue t-shirt and boxers.

"Ziva?" His voice was gruff from sleep, yet worry etched in his eyes.

"We should talk."

"About?"

"About everything!" she raised her voice at him. "We are not agents anymore! What are we supposed to do with ourselves?!" He opened the door and she pushed by him clearly distraught. "My entire life Tony I have fought for something. I am not sure what to do here, but things need to be discussed!"

Tony stared at her pensively, "What do you mean things?"

"Honest things! Things that could not be discussed before! Things that..." She paused, "Our team is no longer a team. Our unit is gone. Gibbs is no longer...our boss," tears pricked her eyes and clogged her throat.

"Ziva..."

"No, Tony! Things have been falling apart for me since I was thirteen! Everyone gone or dead..."

"I promise you, Ziva. I wont ever leave you," His gaze hardened and his jaw ticked.

"But...why?" One lone tear made a path down Ziva's cheek. Suddenly she felt both of his hands grab either side of her face. Ziva gasped right before she felt his wonderful lips on hers. Almost immediately she moaned into it. He was taking charge and for once she felt small and cherished. His lips moved slowly and firmly weakening her muscles. His hands were in her hair now gripping her like a life line. She moaned as he slowly pulled away. Never had anyone kissed her life that!

"Because I need you Ziva," He grumbled against her lips.

He needed her? She needed him! "You need me?" Her voice broke as more tears escaped.

He pulled her closer and rumbled against her neck. "I love you. God, I love you Ziva!"

Just as a choking sob escaped her throat she was kissing him again.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N So this was going to be a one-shot but because of the wonderful feedback, we have another chapter. Enjoy! And thank you so much for the great reviews, favorites, follows, etc.

* * *

Ziva knew that she was taking a huge risk by kissing Tony, but it just felt so right. She slowly stepped back. "Tony..." He hummed close to her ear. "We should take this slow..."

He scoffed. "Eight years not slow enough for you?" He suddenly froze when he saw that she wasnt biting the bait.

"I know I am crazy, but this is a big deal. I am extremely good at messing things up and I do not want you to suffer any more because of me! Just..."she fumbled for words, "let us just leave it here for now." She reached for his hand and gently squeezed it.

He didnt want to leave it! He wanted to kiss every inch of her body and prove his all consuming love for her!…but if she needed this then he would do it. He would do anything. He gently kissed her hand, then stared at their entwined fingers. Since when was he okay with forsaking the entire female population to sit in his apartment on a Friday night holding hands with his partner?

Since Ziva.

He started thinking about all of the things he'd done for her, but was interupted by Ziva her self extricating her hand from his. He subconsciously tightened his hold.

"I should get going," She stood and he quickly followed.

"Are you backing out?" He tried his hardest to keep his face and voice void ofemotion and desperation.

"No!" Ziva tentatively reached up to his face, "Tony, never. I simply do not want either of us to get hurt or ruin this in any way. We are teetering over a very steep cliff."

He grabbed her hand again. "So lets jump Ziva. You and Me."

"Jumping is dangerous!" She hissed at him vehemently.

"That's the point Ziva. It's a risk," Tony tried not to sound pleading.

"No. I cannot risk it."

Tony stepped back and laughed dryly. "Thats always been our problem, you know," She gave him a hard look. "You risking everything, but your heart. Have I seriously failed to prove to you that I'm not going any where?! You could betray me, hate me, try to kill me, and actually I think all of those things have happened. The point is I'm still here and I always will be. So, go ahead. Run. Run far and run fast, but when your done running and being afraid, I want you to remember that I will still be here." Tony's chest was heaving.

He had finally laid it out for her.

Now it was for her to decide.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N Thank you all so very much for the wonderful feedback to this story! We're very glad you guys are enjoying it!

oldmoviewatcher: I could not agree with you more! After eight years, and a kiss on a forehead?! I mean, sure it was a very beautiful & sweet scene but after everything those two have been through together to still call their complex & deep relationship as "friendship"?! It's like a punch in the gut for us Tiva fans! *vent over* lol :-)

* * *

Ziva felt the tears burning the back of her throat. The walls closed in on her and she felt her breathing growing labored. She knew that he had done some pretty dangerous things for her. He had saved her time and again, but how could he do this? Was he giving her a choice? It was impossible! Why did he not understand?

"Tony..." she started carefully.

"I'm a big boy, Ziva. Just say it!"

"Fine. What do you want me to say? We have been through hell together. You and I have made through some difficult things, but Tony, I am not going to risk all of that for one night! We are worth more than that! Sex complicates everything! I can't lose what this is on a selfish whim!" Ziva was heaving now as well edging toward the door.

"Then go, Ziva, " Tony breathed, "Just go."

Ziva felt a sharp pain in her chest as she opened the door. She felt the hot wet tracks on her face. She saw the pain and brokenness on his face. No matter how hard she tried she could think of nothing to assure him, nothing that could take the unbearable look from his face. "Tony…" she tried but failed to speak. She silently closed the door.

When she got back in her car she screamed and yelled and sobbed. WHY?! Why had she come? Everything was gone. Everything they once were was now in a broken mangled mess. Sweet and beautiful moments now tarnished by their bitter words of farewell. Did he mean to go forever? Did he want her to come back tomorrow?

* * *

Tony slid down the wall and to the floor. Unfortunately there was no stopping the damn tear now. It had fallen quickly and had hit his hand. She didn't want to stay so he'd given her an out. The ironic thing in all of this was, she based her argument on wanting to keep things the way they were to protect what they had, and that was the very thing that ruined them. They weren't partners anymore. They weren't agents anymore and now they weren't even friends. In a half of an hour everything they'd been building for ten years just collapsed and fell leaving them both wounded and changed forever. Okay so he was being a little melodramatic, but if he was being honest, things for him would never be normal again. How was he even supposed to be without Ziva?

The piercing shrill of his phone echoed on the counter. He jumped and walked over to pick it up. "DiNozzo," he cleared his throat.

"Anthony DiNozzo?" a gruff voice questioned.

"What can I do for you?"

"This is Director Bill Dafferty of the CIA. We have a job opening for you."

"What kind of job?" Tony was suddenly curious.

"It's of a confidential nature Mr. DiNozzo."


	4. Chapter 4

A/N Wow I am completely blown away by the wonderful feedback for this story! You guys are awesome! :-)

* * *

It was three and a half months later. McGee was a hacker at the Pentagon now and Tony was a spy for the CIA. He hadn't been in contact with Ziva since she'd left his apartment. He lived on the opposite side of D.C. now anyway. He was gone more than he was there. Last week alone he'd been to Moscow and Trinidad, he was officially living his Bond dreams.

So why did it feel so empty?

"Agent DiNozzo."

"Meager."

How trite could they get. A park bench. Agent Meager held a newspaper out to Tony when he sat down.

"Where to this time Meager?" Tony was already bored with this fast paced, yet secretive lifestyle. It used to be all he'd ever wanted, now it was just life without his partner.

"Paris."

Tony's blood ran cold.

Meager stood and stretched. "Your contact is in the file. You want me to tell Nicole you said goodbye?" Meager smirked. He knew DiNozzo didnt mess around. DiNozzo was a machine, did his job to the fullest of his capability, caught the bad guys, and did it again. Nothing side tracked him, not even the office secretary who'd had her eye on him since he'd arrived.

"Cut the crap Meager. Get back to work."

Meager chuckled and walked away. Tony absent-mindedly opened the newspaper and the manilla folder. His heart stopped. His eyes watered. His fists clenched.

Ziva.


	5. Chapter 5

He leaned against the buttercream colored wall in the high-class hotel, waiting. He was in a white Italian suit, a blue and white shirt underneath. He'd let a line of stubble grow over the last day and a half and was sporting aviator shades that gave him a touch of mysteriousness that he'd come to appreciate about himself. In the time he'd been waiting three women had eyed him, one had approached him, and two others simply stared.

Every mission these days was the same. Seduce a beautiful woman, get the information, leave her to dry her tears. How was he supposed to play Ziva? He hadn't seen her in months, and the way they'd left things... She hadn't wanted him, and he didn't want to keep her against her will. She obviously dreamed of bigger things like becoming an international fount of knowledge.

What had she done? The file said she was now the new Go To for information on anyone and anything. She'd thrown caution to the wind by making a name for herself…worldwide. She'd recently sold information to China and Egypt. Big powerful country leaders trusted and admired her. What was he supposed to do? His class act would never work, she knew it and saw through it.

So he'd decided to just be himself...or...well...the new himself.

He took out his phone and called Meager.

"Yeah. What?" Meager asked

"What time did you set the meet for?"

"4. Why? She late?"

"Yes." Tony growled.

The doors opened. Long caramel colored legs came into sight.

"Its her MO. She loves to make her clients wait."

"I'm...I'll call you later." Tony hung up and watched her start to observe the room. Her sleeveless fuscia dress coming to her mid-thigh. The only jewelery she wore were the tiny golden hoops in her ears. A black hand bag and black platforms completed her outfit. She was a sight to behold.

She didn't know who her contact was, he knew because he was given a password to use so they'd know who each other were. He took off his shades and placed them in his breast-pocket. She'd taken a seat at the bar to get a better view of the lobby. He decided that he'd just simply ignore her.

A few seconds later she heard a strangled sound and turned. He watched her freeze when their eyes met. His gut tightened, but he kept his face passive.

"How's the new car?" He grunted.

Her eyes widened. "It's…It rides smoothly."

Tony turned his head away, but kept his voice so she could hear. "Oh. So it's still...running?"


	6. Chapter 6

Ziva quickly looked away at Tony's jab at her fear. He had changed. He was not the man she had left in that apartment. This man was stoic, angry, and brooding. He wore his suit well, his muscles could easily be detected. There was no denying her attraction to him.

"Why don't we cut to the chase," Tony's expression was guarded, "You have the information we need?"

"Technically, Dafferty does not need the information, he simply wishes to apprehend the means of Russia's power source," She sighed and her expression changed.

She reached for his hand. He noticed and smoothly moved his hand to his pocket. Ziva's heart broke at his outright dismissal. She felt tears prick her eyes, never had she felt so alone.

She changed the subject. "So you are a spy now."

"Miss. David. I am here for information. The Director is prepared to pay you a pretty penny. Do I need to find the information elswhere?"

Ziva suddenly grew panicked. This was the first time they'd seen each other in months and she'd be damned if she let him just walk away. Her face went rigid.

"You wont find it anywhere else, Agent DiNozzo," Her words dripped anger and indignation.

He looked at her his jaw ticking and his fists clenching. "Then start talking."


	7. Chapter 7

A/N Thank you all for the great feedback! It's truly appreciated. :-)

* * *

"Tony?" His demeanor startled and confused her.

"Talk. There isn't much time."

Ziva quickly arranged her thoughts putting her game face back on. She'd at least go down with dignity. Tony may have won this little mind game they were playing, but she would win the war. She had to. Tony could not abandon her!

"Borkov and Kerpova have been talking seriously about explosives. They want devastation. Russia, Syria, even China is involved. I do not think I need to tell you the dangers in China leaving the agreement the United States has come up with." Ziva had her game face back in place.

"They're planning something?"

"Yes. How damaging is not yet certain."

Tony's jaw ticked as he thought. His brow knit and his eyes hooded. "I need to get this back to Dafferty." He stood slowly and turned to leave.

Ziva's heart plummeted and her throat constricted. She hated this! Is this how it was going to be now? Random moments of surprise encounters filled with longing and attraction that would never amount to anything? Suddenly he paused. Her eyes shot to his deep gray ones.

"Take care of yourself, " He whispered hoarsely.

She nodded as he disappeared.

* * *

Agent DiNozzo entered Director Dafferty's office with trepidation. Agent Meager had told him as soon as he walked in that Dafferty wanted him right away. He motioned for DiNozzo to sit.

"What did she say?"

"Only that Russia, Syria, and China are planning something. The only glitch is we dont know how damaging the plan is."

Dafferty grunted and ran his hand across his beard. He stood and walked over to his window over-looking DC. "Bad timing." He growled.

"What do you mean?" DiNozzo stared in confusion at Bill's back.

"I mean I got a call today from SecNav. He's requested that you rejoin NCIS. Said the paperwork hasnt gone through and you are more than welcome to your old job. If you don't want it, DiNozzo, we appreciate the work you do here..." Bill faced him hands in pockets, silently begging. DiNozzo knew Dafferty needed him, but...

NCIS.

NCIS.

NCIS!

He was over everything. He was. Now he had a chance to prove it. He'd work with Gibbs. He'd work with McGee (hopefully). He'd have a new partner, and he wouldn't feel a thing. He wouldn't miss her. She was nothing to him now.


	8. Chapter 8

Exiting the elavator had to be the hardest thing he'd done in months. Orange walls. Copy and fax machines droning wearily. People running toward their desk to check BOLOs and other alerts. It hadnt changed. Nothing had and as he turned the corner there sat Gibbs on his phone talking to someone who was obviously pissing him off! He slammed the phone down just as McGee walked up with news from the lab. They had always had perfect timing. Everyone always in sync with each other, and Tony had quickly learned that he'd taken it for granted. No one worked like their team. No one quite understood his reasons for keeping things light.

"Well unlose it, McGee!" Gibbs grouched.

"Right. On it, Boss."

"You just gonna stare all morning, DiNozzo, or do you plan on helping out?" Gibbs sighed without looking at him.

"Right, Boss."

Tony scurried to the familiar yet foreign desk, and turned on his computer. He quickly put his things away and placed his badge and Sig gently into his left hand drawer. For once realizing just how much that badge was a part of who he was.  
Yet in all of this something was missing. It was like a whole in the middle of his chest. Something just so blatantly wrong. How was he supposed to break in a new partner? How was he supposed to discover and reinvent comraderie with a partner he had no history with? He was supposed to be past this. He was supposed to be over it. He was supposed to have hardened himself to the reality. Truth was, he'd lied. Because the reality sucked.

Whoever this new partner was, they wouldnt be his partner. They wouldnt know the first thing about his movie references, or how to have a wordless convorsation. They wouldnt be an Israeli ninja assassin, and damn it! It was killing him!

"What's wrong? Aren't you happy to be back?" McGee asked excitedly, "I missed you guys!" McGee sat with a stupid grin on his face, then placed a couple papers on Tony's desk and went back to his.

Tony picked them up and glaned at the name of the Lt. Colonel they were investigating. "He the victim?" Tony turned his scowl toward McGee.

"Yep."

In the back of his mind Tony heard the elevator and ignored it.

"Crime of passion," McGee continued, "COD was blunt force trauma. Found in the living room of his country estate. Married. One daughter."

"Let me guess. The spouse?"

Tony's head snapped up, as the brunette placed her things on the desk across from his. His eyes scanned her form. She sat and put her badge and Sig away, and still he did not move, just stared. Suddenly the whole seemed nonexistent.

She stood nervously. "Where is Gibbs?"

Tony scanned the room with McGee dazedly. "He was just here." said a confused McGee.

Tony did one of his charming half grins, "Well we are talking about the Boss-man here." His eyes never leaving the brunette's. He suddenly felt his heartbeat speed up and a lump in his throat. "Well," He said hoarsly, "How's it feel to be back, Sweet cheeks?"


End file.
